So since the summer I’ve put all my catering activities on hold, since I’ve been working on something a bit more ambitious but exciting at the same time. Not only have I put the catering on hold but it feels as though I’ve put my life on hold. I’ve pretty much had no social life, I’ve missed my closest friends birthdays which makes me feel awful. It kind of sucks but I think that if you are serious about starting your own business or project it’s the only way. Firstly you have to rely on yourself and self motivation is difficult especially when you feel daunted by all the new challenges you will face, so you can’t afford any distractions. Also when you have to work alongside it all to fund your living and start up costs there is simply no time!
I often wonder how people who are starting their own business get over the anxiety that comes with it. I mean you get so sucked into what you are doing, you make sacrifices for it and then you get attached to the idea and put your heart and soul into it that you can’t bear the thought of it not working out when the reality is that there are many ways it could all go wrong. I’ve given up on getting a good nights sleep since I keep waking up every few hours and remembering things I have to do. I was speaking to a good friend about it who told me plain and simple that there are some things out of my control and the only thing I have to worry about is to keep doing what I’m doing, and then I felt fine! (See what I mean by getting so sucked in!)
Anyway I’ve been reading a book by the film director David Lynch and he talks about similar feelings whilst making the movie Eraserhead which took him five years to complete. He said that he almost felt that the world was leaving him behind and he thought the whole world would be different by the time he had finished. Then he talks about the expression “Keep your eye on the doughnut, not on the hole.” If you keep your eye on the doughnut and do your work, that’s all you can control. You can’t control any of what’s out there, outside yourself but you can stay focused on what’s important and do the best that you can do. It’s so true.